Chronic illness can be a literal pain in the ass
It can also make it very difficult to feel and act lovingly towards your body, because let’s face it, if you have chronic illnesses and/or chronic pain, especially during flare-ups, it can sometimes feel like your body is the enemy.
Here is a non-exhaustive (though still very exhausting) list of my chronic illnesses and their effects on my body:
Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS)
All my tissues (inside and out) are extra fragile
Chronic, wide-spread pain & fatigue
Frequent joint dislocations or partial dislocations
Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)
I get dizzy when I change positions
Increased fatigue
Fibromyalgia
Brain fog
Chronic, wide-spread pain & fatigue
Terrible and completely random “electric shock” pains
Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS)
Random “allergic” reactions to things I’m not actually allergic to
Chronic inflammation
Chronic, wide-spread pain & fatigue
Endometriosis
Incredibly painful periods
Frequent ovarian cyst ruptures (sometimes requiring an ER trip)
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)
Deep depression and increased anxiety just before each period
Suicidal ideation (don’t worry, I get the help that I need because I’m aware of what this condition does to me each month)
*Autism
*Autism isn’t a chronic illness, but it is a disability and it does affect my energy levels and how things feel in my body
Given the above, I know it sounds like it would be impossible to think happy thoughts, or even neutral ones, about my body, but I’ve found practices that work well for me, and I’m sharing them with you in case they help you too!
Self-Love Practices
Reading
Reading about how people deal with difficult life situations in realistic and attainable ways that aren’t just inspiration porn, especially from a Buddhist perspective, has really helped me give myself grace and compassion, which helps me feel more lovingly towards my body.
Books I’ve read that have helped me navigate chronic illness:
Dopamine Dressing
Dopamine dressing is dressing in a way that sparks joy for yourself. This doesn’t mean “high fashion” (which is often uncomfortable), it could mean something very comfortable that is just a bright color or bold pattern, or accessories that make you smile when you see them in the mirror.
How I dopamine dress lately:
I’ve discovered a love of brightly colored onesies! From Imbodhi’s strappy jumpsuits to Snag Tights coveralls in bright magenta, I feel like a toddler when I wear them in the best way possible - it makes me happy and they’re super comfortable!
Accommodations
Making accommodations for yourself (as though you were your own employer) is an important part of treating your body with care and respect. People with chronic illnesses and disabilities get a lot of messages about “toughing it out” and how “you can overcome anything if you put your mind to it”. I’m not here for that toxic positivity bullshit, and I don’t think it’s helpful. It is more than okay to make your life easier where you can.
Accommodations I’ve given myself recently:
A remote page turner for my e-reader sounded ridiculous at first, but as a person who has early-onset osteoarthritis due to hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, it’s done wonders to cut down on repetitive movements that can cause pain
More pillows, cuz you can never have too many
Self-care
The act of physically caring for your body can help you feel more lovingly about your body and yourself. Lean into that to develop self-care practices that prioritize touching your body in loving ways (which don’t have to be sexual), and do them consistently, and see how your feelings about your body improve over time.
How I’ve been caring for myself recently:
I had a massage where the therapist did dynamic cupping and WOW, it was amazing! So I bought myself this silicone cupping set that I can use at home when I’m having a flare-up and they’re amazing
Tattoos
Getting tattoos on or near body parts you struggle with (as long as it won’t impede with necessary surgeries, ports, etc.) can be a powerful way to reclaim certain parts of your body in a way that feels good and makes you smile whenever you look at those parts in the mirror. Tattoos can also be used to help us symbolize new chapters in our lives and give us confidence.
What is my latest tattoo?
I am currently working on a 1/2 sleeve tattoo of The Empress (of tarot fame), which represents maternal love, abundance, caring, and intuition to commemorate the year I step away from the corporate world to focus my time entirely on photography! This tattoo is a reminder to me every day that I have what I need within me to be successful and happy in this new creative space, and to trust my intuition
Self-portraits
Never underestimate the importance of regularly seeing yourself in a positive way. I don’t mean selfies with snapchat filters of heart freckles, I mean unfiltered, sometimes even raw, self-portraits that help you feel powerful or vulnerable or sexy or whatever it is you need to feel that day. Don’t be afraid to get your whole body in the photo. And no, you don’t have to be a photographer to do this, anyone can with just their phone or computer!
My latest self-portraits:
Wherever you are in your journey to having a better relationship with your body, know that even in the midst of chronic illness and chronic pain, it is possible to love and appreciate your body. And on days where that feels like too tall an order? You can still treat your body with kindness, care, and respect. I hope these self-love tips help!