What to expect from your session start to finish

I got you covered (or uncovered)!

If you’re like me (or you’re just neurospicy too), you want to know exactly what to expect from pretty much any new experience. And if that’s the case, then this post is for you! Here are all the details of what to expect from start to finish! First, let’s cover the process at a high level! Please note that before booking, we’ll want to make sure to touch base over the phone so I can walk you through the process below and answer any questions you may have to make sure you’re feeling good and supported!

Onto the details!

Once you’ve booked your session, then the fun begins!

Preparing for your session:

  1. Once you’ve booked your session, I’ll send you a client prep guide to help you feel prepared and excited for your session!

  2. I’ll also send you a questionnaire to help me better understand what you’re looking for from your session, any physical limitations I should be aware of, and where you are at on your body image journey, so that I can best support you before, during, and after your session

  3. Once you’ve completed your questionnaire, we’ll schedule a phone call to discuss your questionnaire and to collaborate on ideas for your session so it feels uniquely you

  4. No clue what to wear? Come to the studio before your session for a wardrobe consult!


During your session:

  1. Before your session begins, we’ll look at any outfits you brought with you, and decide which ones to use if you’re not already sure

  2. Once we’ve done that, I’ll give you a quick walk-through on what to expect regarding posing guidance during the session and we may even do some breathing exercises to get you in the right headspace!

  3. After that, we’ll put on some kickass tunes and have a blast!

  4. Your comfort and sense of safety is my number one priority

    • I will always ask permission before touching you to adjust clothing, hair, etc. or direct you on adjusting those things without my help

    • If there are any poses that don’t work well for you, let me know and we’ll try something else

    • My studio is accessible and wheelchair-friendly


The image reveal:

  1. The images from your session will be edited within approximately 2 weeks

  2. Once your images are ready, I’ll contact you to schedule an in person or virtual image reveal session to view your images together

    • During the image reveal, we’ll not only view your images together (yay!) but we’ll also go through and pick your favorites, which images you’d like to download, which images you’d like prints of, and which images you’d like to use for any albums or wall art!

    • If you have chosen a collection that includes an album, or decided to purchase an a la carte album, we’ll review the first draft of your album and make any adjustments you’d like in real time!

    • The image reveal will be your final opportunity to add make any a la carte artwork selections!

  3. Immediately following your image reveal session, I’ll send you an image release agreement via email for you to choose which of the following image release options work best for you:

    • A full release of images

    • An anonymous release of images

    • A limited release of images (where you choose specific images that you’re comfortable with me using)

    • No release of images

After the image reveal:

  1. I’ll let you know as soon as your artwork has arrived so we can arrange a time for you to pick up at the studio! The estimated times below are from the image reveal or from the time you approve your artwork layout (for albums), whichever is later:

    • Archival Prints: Allow 1-2 weeks (3-4 weeks during the holiday season or before Valentine’s Day)

    • Wall Art: Allow 1-2 weeks (3-4 weeks during the holiday season or before Valentine’s Day)

    • Luxury Albums: Allow 3-4 weeks (5-6 weeks during the holiday season or before Valentine’s Day)

Hopefully this helps give you an idea of what to expect before, during, and after your session, and check out our FAQs here for more helpful info!

—Sam

How to love your body when you're chronically ill

Chronic illness can be a literal pain in the ass

It can also make it very difficult to feel and act lovingly towards your body, because let’s face it, if you have chronic illnesses and/or chronic pain, especially during flare-ups, it can sometimes feel like your body is the enemy.

Here is a non-exhaustive (though still very exhausting) list of my chronic illnesses and their effects on my body:

  • Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS)

    • All my tissues (inside and out) are extra fragile

    • Chronic, wide-spread pain & fatigue

    • Frequent joint dislocations or partial dislocations

  • Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)

    • I get dizzy when I change positions

    • Increased fatigue

  • Fibromyalgia

    • Brain fog

    • Chronic, wide-spread pain & fatigue

    • Terrible and completely random “electric shock” pains

  • Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS)

    • Random “allergic” reactions to things I’m not actually allergic to

    • Chronic inflammation

    • Chronic, wide-spread pain & fatigue

  • Endometriosis

    • Incredibly painful periods

    • Frequent ovarian cyst ruptures (sometimes requiring an ER trip)

  • Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

    • Deep depression and increased anxiety just before each period

    • Suicidal ideation (don’t worry, I get the help that I need because I’m aware of what this condition does to me each month)

  • *Autism

    • *Autism isn’t a chronic illness, but it is a disability and it does affect my energy levels and how things feel in my body

Given the above, I know it sounds like it would be impossible to think happy thoughts, or even neutral ones, about my body, but I’ve found practices that work well for me, and I’m sharing them with you in case they help you too!

Self-Love Practices

  • Reading

    • Reading about how people deal with difficult life situations in realistic and attainable ways that aren’t just inspiration porn, especially from a Buddhist perspective, has really helped me give myself grace and compassion, which helps me feel more lovingly towards my body.

    • Books I’ve read that have helped me navigate chronic illness:

  • Dopamine Dressing

    • Dopamine dressing is dressing in a way that sparks joy for yourself. This doesn’t mean “high fashion” (which is often uncomfortable), it could mean something very comfortable that is just a bright color or bold pattern, or accessories that make you smile when you see them in the mirror.

    • How I dopamine dress lately:

      • I’ve discovered a love of brightly colored onesies! From Imbodhi’s strappy jumpsuits to Snag Tights coveralls in bright magenta, I feel like a toddler when I wear them in the best way possible - it makes me happy and they’re super comfortable!

  • Accommodations

    • Making accommodations for yourself (as though you were your own employer) is an important part of treating your body with care and respect. People with chronic illnesses and disabilities get a lot of messages about “toughing it out” and how “you can overcome anything if you put your mind to it”. I’m not here for that toxic positivity bullshit, and I don’t think it’s helpful. It is more than okay to make your life easier where you can.

    • Accommodations I’ve given myself recently:

      • A remote page turner for my e-reader sounded ridiculous at first, but as a person who has early-onset osteoarthritis due to hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, it’s done wonders to cut down on repetitive movements that can cause pain

      • More pillows, cuz you can never have too many

  • Self-care

    • The act of physically caring for your body can help you feel more lovingly about your body and yourself. Lean into that to develop self-care practices that prioritize touching your body in loving ways (which don’t have to be sexual), and do them consistently, and see how your feelings about your body improve over time.

    • How I’ve been caring for myself recently:

      • I had a massage where the therapist did dynamic cupping and WOW, it was amazing! So I bought myself this silicone cupping set that I can use at home when I’m having a flare-up and they’re amazing

  • Tattoos

    • Getting tattoos on or near body parts you struggle with (as long as it won’t impede with necessary surgeries, ports, etc.) can be a powerful way to reclaim certain parts of your body in a way that feels good and makes you smile whenever you look at those parts in the mirror. Tattoos can also be used to help us symbolize new chapters in our lives and give us confidence.

    • What is my latest tattoo?

      • I am currently working on a 1/2 sleeve tattoo of The Empress (of tarot fame), which represents maternal love, abundance, caring, and intuition to commemorate the year I step away from the corporate world to focus my time entirely on photography! This tattoo is a reminder to me every day that I have what I need within me to be successful and happy in this new creative space, and to trust my intuition

  • Self-portraits

    • Never underestimate the importance of regularly seeing yourself in a positive way. I don’t mean selfies with snapchat filters of heart freckles, I mean unfiltered, sometimes even raw, self-portraits that help you feel powerful or vulnerable or sexy or whatever it is you need to feel that day. Don’t be afraid to get your whole body in the photo. And no, you don’t have to be a photographer to do this, anyone can with just their phone or computer!

    • My latest self-portraits:

 

Wherever you are in your journey to having a better relationship with your body, know that even in the midst of chronic illness and chronic pain, it is possible to love and appreciate your body. And on days where that feels like too tall an order? You can still treat your body with kindness, care, and respect. I hope these self-love tips help!

Sam

 

Queer Body Image Bootcamp 2025!

Who has two thumbs and needs to work on their body image? Probably everyone you know.

I’ve struggled mightily with my body image over the years, and nearly everyone I know has also. When I say struggled, I don’t just mean that I thought some mean thoughts every now and again about myself, I mean I would have times where I’d be ugly crying (snot running down my face and everything) and hyperventilating, thinking I was the most hideous person on the face of the planet. Unsurprisingly, this wasn’t a super healthy way to think about myself, and it negatively impacted almost every area of my life, from my sense of self worth to my relationships, and on down the line.

My journey to a better relationship with my body has been a very long one, that started with reading The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, and from there moved on to attending Camp Thunder Thighs hosted by amazing fat activist, Virgie Tovar, where I met one of my photography heroes, Teri Hofford, in person. There were lots of little stepping stones along the way, but Camp Thunder Thighs and connecting with Teri really cemented where I wanted to go with my relationship to my body.

A few years later, Teri began offering a Body Image Bootcamp, and eventually the ability to become certified as a Body Image Bootcamp facilitator, and once I saved up enough, I was on a plane to Mexico to get myself certified! I had done so much body image work over the years that I thought I had nothing else to learn about my own body image (ha!), but pride cometh before a fall and whatnot, because WOW did I work through so many more things I didn’t even know were lurking under the surface when I attended the facilitators Body Image Bootcamp. I knew I wanted to help others have similar breakthroughs to really approach their bodies with a sense of love and respect, I just didn’t know exactly what my Body Image Bootcamp was going to look like yet.

When it came to planning my own version of Body Image Bootcamp, I noticed that most certified facilitators were working only with groups of women (trans-inclusive), which I can absolutely understand and respect, but when I put the call out to my largely queer client community, the overwhelming response was that folks wanted an inclusively queer space to talk about body image issues, regardless of gender (or lack thereof), and so Queer Body Image Bootcamp was born!

The inaugural Queer Body Image Bootcamp was a labor of love, born from a deep desire to help people in my community repair their relationships with their bodies. As a wedding & portrait photographer (Dutcher Photography) and boudoir & empowerment photographer (Reverence Intimate Portraits), I see firsthand every day the shame that many of us have built up around our bodies, especially those of us who live in marginalized or multiply marginalized bodies. On top of that, the queer community has its own unique body image issues, particularly for trans and/or non-binary folks, which is why I was really happy to see so much support for an all gender (or lack thereof) queer only space.

The next biggest hurdle was finding the right location. Because of my commitment to accessibility, I knew that the venue I chose had to not only have the right “vibe” (cozy, safe, comfortable, eclectic), but would also need to be ADA-accessible, have furniture that would fit a variety of body sizes and shapes, and be a place where queer people would feel welcome (as they should be in every space). I searched for what felt like months and kept coming up empty, until Parlor Hotel, a queer-owned boutique hotel in Princeton, WI, came up in conversation with my friend Patrick, who helped connect me with owners Greg & Matt. The second I looked at the space, and saw that it had not one but two ADA-compliant rooms, offered catering options, allowed us exclusive use of the hotel for our group, and it was cute as heck, I knew that this was the perfect space to host Queer Body Image Bootcamp! 

As we approached the retreat weekend, I was busy prepping goodie bags, coordinating with my co-facilitator, Nik Shier of Heartbrain, on fun ways to surprise and delight attendees, and making sure everyone was prepared, and during that time, almost every attendee expressed how nervous they were, how this was something big they were doing for themselves (what an act of self-love!), and how much they were looking forward to the retreat weekend!

Guests began arriving at 2 PM on Thursday March 20th, and I could immediately see excitement was winning out over nerves as they looked around the space! That first day was just getting folks settled in, having dinner, and hopefully getting to know each other before diving into body image work on Friday morning. I’d asked Nik to facilitate some ice breakers Thursday evening after dinner to help get folks comfortable talking with each other, but to my great joy, attendees were naturally and effortlessly getting to know each other and talking like old friends within a few hours, no ice breakers needed! 

Friday morning, folks slept in a little, helped themselves to breakfast, and then we got down to business. Day one of “class time” consisted of diving into how body image is formed in early childhood through caretaker narratives, the media we were exposed to, and our culture. Some of these exercises were particularly emotionally challenging. There’s a reason I included tissues in everyone’s goodie bags, and we certainly had cause to use them! The care and compassion shown by each attendee in listening to and holding space for those around them was deeply heartwarming, and had a positive impact on how comfortable each person felt in sharing their stories and insights. We broke for a delicious catered dinner at the Horseradish Kitchen (also owned by Greg & Matt) where we laughed, got to eat amazing food, and just let ourselves relax after a hard day’s work. After dinner, I made everyone delicious mocktails, as folks talked and shared more casually (we may or may not have had a little Chappell Roan sing-a-long). 

On Saturday, we focused on how to identify negative body image thoughts, and practical tools for reframing or redirecting those thoughts in a healthy direction, whether towards body neutrality or body positivity. The most powerful part of this discussion for me was when each attendee took a moment to say something to the child version of themselves. Just hearing each person speak so lovingly towards their “little them” in that moment was so incredible. Many of us think that we hate ourselves because we’re so used to negative self talk, we assume everything we think about ourselves is true, so to see each attendee fiercely loving and protecting their child-self in that moment with words of encouragement, affection, and love, was truly a gift, and highlights the importance of this work. We had another amazing dinner and got to toast the 10 year anniversary of Horseradish Kitchen with Greg, Matt, and several team members there, and it was so sweet and serendipitous. Queer success is beautiful!

Sunday was our graduation and mini-session day! Each attendee received a mini boudoir + empowerment session with me, and once our mini-sessions were completed, we had a beautiful graduation ceremony where attendees connected with each other one on one to place physical representations of healing on each others’ bodies. The smiles, the tears, and the hugs were overwhelmingly tender and beautiful. Each attendee shared that they gained something deeply meaningful out of the experience, in expected and unexpected ways. The experience was truly magical, and I am so honored to have been able to help facilitate this kind of healing. 

If you missed this year’s Queer Body Image Bootcamp, and would like to be the first to know when we open registration for the 2026 bootcamp, head to https://www.reverenceintimateportraits.com/newsletter-signup to sign up for my email newsletter! It is possible to have a better relationship with your body, and I want to leave you with what I know to be true, deep in my heart; You are valuable and worthy, in exactly the body you’re in right now.

—Sam

p.s. Check out the pictures from our amazing weekend below, and please give some love to the queer-owned vendors who helped us make this retreat so special!

Here are the amazing queer-owned vendors (with links!) who helped make Queer Body Image Bootcamp happen!

Co-facilitator: Heartbrain (IG: @heartbrainwi / @queerjoybyheartbrain)

Venue: Parlor Hotel (IG: @parlorhotel)

Catering: Horseradish Kitchen (IG: @horseradishkitchen)

Delicious Treats: The Baked Lab (IG: @thebakedlab)

Rene's golden goddess boudoir + empowerment session

Rene’s session was part throwback to the Janet Jackson era and part golden goddess vibes

And I love both of them! The first part of the session was really giving me all the feels of a Janet Jackson music video from when I was younger, and then we got to bust out the gold foil and kick things up a notch! This was so fun!

—Sam

 
 

Mari's edgy and bold boudoir + empowerment session

Mari wanted a bold mixed with retro vibe for her boudoir + empowerment session

And we had so much fun bringing this vision to life! She even brought old playboy magazines for a fun prop and absolutely killed her neon look!

From Mari: “I was impressed by the turnaround time on getting my photos back, and — due to my own self-consciousness — was floored by the sheer volume of photos I loved from the shoot. I definitely plan to do another shoot in the future!”

Ready to rock your own session your own way? Hit me up!

—Sam

 
 

Mara's saucy meets nerdy boudoir + empowerment session

Mara’s multi-faceted boudoir session was a dream!

Mara had a vision for her session that I absolutely loved, which was three different looks, all facets of her personality, that went from high glam (complete with dark eye makeup and deep red lipstick) to cozy nerdy book-lover with a lighter lip color and cute meets sexy bra & panty set with books on them, to her final look, sans makeup, that was a raw, vulnerable celebration of her body! I loved this concept of moving through multiple ways of being during the session, and ending with this naturally beautiful state. These photos are some of my favorites!

—Sam

 
 

Maureen's fun and playful boudoir + empowerment session

Photographers are awesome to photograph

Sure, we photographers all forget how to pose at first when we’re on the other side of the camera (since it’s so rare), but once we get going, we’re great! And one of my very dear friends Maureen Cassidy of Maureen Cassidy Photography / Foxy Studios had one of the most fun and playful sessions with me! She wanted to have a “one woman dance party” and that’s exactly what we did! Enjoy these super fun photos of Maureen!

—Sam

 
 

Body image bootcamp

“Bodies be bodies…”

…As the incomparable Teri Hofford would say. Teri’s Body Image Bootcamp was a gift I didn’t know I needed. She originally began hosting the Body Image Bootcamp (BIBC) in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in 2018 and I’ve been wanting to go for years, but always had an excuse to put it off. I finally got my shit together this year, and was particularly excited to learn how to facilitate a BIBC here in Wisconsin, but if I thought I wouldn’t learn (and feel!) new things about body image because I’ve been on this journey for a while, boy howdy was I wrong. Like very wrong.

I have a tendency to remove the emotion from my memories and feelings. Just ask any therapist I’ve ever been to. I can recount some pretty horrific stuff like I’m ready a grocery list, ten steps removed from it. This is obviously a coping mechanism, and my brain’s way of protecting me, but it can sometimes be a barrier to breakthroughs and knowing this about myself, I was a little worried I wouldn’t connect, not only with other BIBC attendees, but also with myself. I also had all the normal (normal???) worries about not fitting in, being the odd woman out, not making friends, and not belonging that I tend to have going into every social situation, and add to that my concerns about being in a country where I don’t speak the language. All these thoughts had me pretty nervous about what to expect and what the experience would be like for me.

Turns out, I was worried for nothing. I arrived a day early and stayed at Hacienda Buenaventura and immediately was able to connect with one of my fellow BIBC attendees, a French Canadian woman who was staying at the same hotel pre-bootcamp. We had such a lovely dinner getting to know each other that it immediately put my mind at ease about the workshop, and eased my fears around not fitting in. We took an Uber together to the BIBC villa, then rode the sky bucket (what we lovingly call the outdoor funicular elevator thingy that ferried us up and down the steepest part of the hill and hauled us right to the BIBC doorstep). We were greeted with hugs and limeade (two of my favorites things) and my new companion and I were the first to arrive and the first to choose our rooms! Day one was largely settling in, greeting new arrivals (more hugs, more limeade) and swimming naked in the infinity pool with an AMAZING view of Puerto Vallarta and the ocean (I never want to swim with a bathing suit on again). That first evening, we were served a delicious meal, then headed to the rooftop fire pit area to talk through Clifton Strengths (which if you haven’t heard of it, I highly recommend checking it out here!) We laughed and chatted and got to know one another a bit, then all headed off to bed (avoiding stepping on any of the many gecko friends all over the open-air parts of the villa at night).

The next morning was the official “Day 1” of the bootcamp, and that’s when I knew this wasn’t going to be just surface level stuff. While I won’t recount everything we learned or did, one of the most powerful moments for me happened on Day 1, when we were asked to take 10 minutes and write down a list of every mean or negative thing we say to ourselves (or have said to ourselves). I was super honest with this exercise, and didn’t realize that part 2 was to hand our list over to a partner. The person we were paired up with then read our list out loud, as though they were saying these things to themselves. I would never, never say things as mean as what I’ve said to myself to another creature, and just hearing those words come out of someone else’s mouth made me weep. I was crying like a baby before we were even halfway through the list. This one small moment was so monumentally eye-opening, and says so much about how we’re willing to treat ourselves, versus how we treat others.

Days 2 and 3 were a happy blur of meaningful discussions, tears, hugs, good food, and photos. At the end of Day 3, the last day of the bootcamp, we discussed ways to continue body image work as we head back into the world, and had a glitter graduation ceremony where we helped each of our fellow attendees heal parts of themselves where they struggle with body image most, and thanked each other for witnessing us, and basked in the gentle healing that comes along with being truly seen. And bonus, I got cute cat stickers on my bum!

The day after our glitter graduation ceremony was a free day of sorts, where we had massages, bummed around Puerto Vallarta in small groups, and got matching tattoos! I know that sounds crazy (which is how I prefaced my text to my husband about it lol), but the discussion came up about matching tattoos, and my wonderful roommate Nathou, whose native language is French, said the phrase “je t’adore”, which means “I love you” and as we reflected over learning to love ourselves and our bodies, it just felt right as a matching tattoo idea, and so that was what we decided on! This means we also all have a little piece of Nathou (both the phrase, and for some of us, even her handwriting) with us as we go back into our lives, and a meaningful reminder to treat ourselves with love and kindness. There’s a pic below of this beautiful tattoo, which means so much to me I can’t even put it into words!

Some of my biggest takeaways from this workshop were:

  1. You probably have more work to do on your body image than you think, even if you’ve been working on it for years

  2. You can’t love your body if you don’t love who you are, so it’s not just about your body image, but also your self-image

  3. The vast majority of us are searching for a sense of belonging and comparison, self-doubt, and fear robs us of the chance to make meaningful connections and impactful relationships in our lives if we let it

  4. Being naked is a fucking gift - it’s so much easier to attain body neutrality when you acclimate yourself to your naked body, just doing its body thing

  5. This one is aimed at moms, non-binary parents, and caretakers in particular - if it is accessible for you, try to take a solo trip just for you every now and again so you can experience being able to prioritize only yourself, even if it’s just for a day or two at a time

  6. The world needs your softness and your vulnerability

I am so grateful to Teri for creating this experience (and to Beth, the coordination guru with whom I share a love of spreadsheets)! I know folks are going to really benefit from doing this work, and I can’t wait to bring my own spin on this bootcamp to Wisconsin! Leave a comment or shoot me an email if you have any questions! I could talk about body image, and also this bootcamp, literally all day long!

—Sam

p.s. Special thanks to Cat of Alter Ego Boudoir for taking the dress photos of me on my camera so I could edit them! You’re a doll!

 
 

Four reasons not to book a session

Yes, you read that right!

Just like knowing when the right time is to book a session, it’s also important to know when maybe it’s not the right time, so below are some important reasons not to book a boudoir + empowerment session with me.

Reason 1:

You still think that your body image will improve if you could only change X about your body (X being your body’s shape or size, your cellulite, your “too big” or “too small” boobs, your wrinkles, moles, or scars, etc.). If you’re still in a place where you believe that changing your body is the key to a better body image, you may not be in a place where you’ll get the most benefit out of a boudoir + empowerment session.

Reason 2:

You feel like the biggest reason to do a session is as a gift to your partner. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love that any partners my clients have may reap the benefits of a session (amazing pics), but if your biggest reason for doing a session is as a gift to your partner(s), you may be missing out on some of the best benefits a boudoir + empowerment session can offer, which is as a gift to yourself. Quick note that I’m not talking about gifting your partner a couple’s session, I’m specifically talking about your own solo sessions.

Reason 3:

You want to do a session, but you’d like a lot of retouching done to your photos, including skin smoothing, getting rid of lines/wrinkles, and “making you smaller”. There are lots of talented boudoir photographers out there who will do this kind of retouching, but at Reverence Intimate Portraits, we’re all about celebrating the real you, and so I don’t do any kind of editing that will change your shape/size or remove normal human phenomenon like wrinkles, cellulite, moles, or scars. I’d be glad to refer you to a photographer who does that kind of retouching, and would love to see you when you’re in a place of acceptance (or working towards that place, I know it’s not a linear path) of your real life body, exactly as it is right now.

Reason 4:

You’re not in a place where you are willing to make an investment in yourself. There is no judgment here. This kind of photography experience is expensive, and for good reason, but not everyone feels comfortable making that kind of investment in themselves and their body image journey. We’re taught “not to be selfish” (especially if we were assigned female at birth) and that putting yourself first is a bad thing, so making an investment in yourself can feel pretty squidgy or downright terrifying. I can empathize! I book my own boudoir + empowerment sessions annually with trusted photographers who have the same philosophies I do and even though I do this for a living I still struggle a little bit making an investment. This is where pre-payment plans can really make a big difference. They allow you to prioritize yourself on a schedule that works for you, and can make investing in yourself feel a little less scary. If you’re not in a place where you think you’re worth prioritizing though, I’d encourage you to work on your body image and self-image in the myriad of other ways that are available until your mindset starts to shift and you begin to see yourself as worthy of investing in, because you are!

If you have any questions about the boudoir + empowerment process, or figuring out if this experience is right for you, hit me up!

—Sam

Emily's Tom of Finland inspired boudoir + empowerment session

Emily told me that they’d been wanting to do a session for a long time that captured their more masc of center side

And I was so thrilled to be able to work with them! They are an amazing human that I’ve known for years, and I credit them with connecting me with Our Lives magazine, who I’ve now been shooting images for for quite a number of years. I love Emily’s look, and am in love with the photos we were able to capture!

—Sam

 
 

Seven ways to improve your body image

Improving your body image takes a lot of work

But don’t let that deter you, because it is absolutely worth it! The work is important and doable! Here are some tips, in no particular order, on ways you can work towards improving your body image, in addition to the reflective inner work needed.

1. Curate your social media

Sure, it would probably be better for all of us if we were off social media entirely, but we live in a world where social media may be necessary for business or personal reasons. If you’ve got to be on social media, be sure to carefully curate what’s on your feed. Unfollow individuals, companies, or influencers who are heavily entrenched in diet or “wellness” culture and start following fabulous fat folks and people who are anti-diet or Health At Every Size (HAES) practitioners. This is also a great opportunity to follow a more diverse set of people all around, so that you’re more often exposed to the voices of disabled folks, queer folks, Black folks, and folks in other marginalized communities. So much of our feelings about our bodies and our worth come from what we see in the media, but we’re adults now, and we get to decide the media we expose ourselves to.

2. Take more pictures of yourself and ditch the filters

When we’re uncomfortable with how we look, especially if we’re comparing ourselves to others or a past version of ourself (perhaps pre-kids), it can be easy to shy away from photos, whether that’s having our photos taken or taking pictures of ourselves, but one of the best ways to normalize our bodies to our own brains is to see more of our bodies! So take more pictures of yourself. Resist the urge to apply those snapchat filters! Resist the urge to only take pictures of yourself from the neck up. Get your whole dang torso in there. Have other folks take photos of you (like me for instance)! Give yourself permission to be in the photo, and then get on in there! You are worthy of being documented exactly as you are right now.

3. Explore body neutrality

If body love and body acceptance seem a little out of reach from where you’re starting, why not explore body neutrality? Body neutrality is the concept of simply accepting that your body exists, that it’s worth of respect and care right now, whether or not you love it in this very moment. Body neutrality can be a very freeing practice, but it’s a critical step in the journey to improve your body image. You won’t love your body every minute of every day, and that’s okay. What you can do, is accept that your body exists, and treat it with respect and kindness in each moment, and allow your body to simply be.

4. Get some tattoos

No seriously. Tattoos are an amazing way to adorn your body in a way that feels special and helps you have positive feelings towards specific parts of your body. I used to struggle to love my thighs, but an unexpected bonus of getting thigh tattoos was that the second my tattoos had healed up, I suddenly found a new appreciation for my own thighs as the works of art they are! Find a tattoo artist you love, save the money if you have to, and get yourself a sparkly new tattoo to help you love specific areas of your body that deserve your care.

5. Buy clothes that fit you

This one sounds so simple, but because of our size obsessed culture, it can actually be pretty traumatic to admit that your clothing sizes have changed, so we stuff ourselves into clothes that are uncomfortable and are literally hurting us so that we don’t have to change clothing sizes. Were we “just more comfortable” when we weighed less, or were we physically more comfortable then because our clothes fit better? We often think loving our body comes first, and then we will treat our body with care and respect, but actually, treating our body with the care and respect it deserves helps us learn to love our bodies. So one of the first things you can do to have a better relationship with your body is to make sure you’re not hurting it by stuffing it into clothing that is too small. Let that tum be free and stop holding onto clothing that no longer serves you.

6. Get rid of your scale

Yeah… I know how hard this one is. If you’re anything like me, you spent way too much time congratulating yourself anytime the scale went down and berating yourself anytime the scale went up. But your worth isn’t defined by a number on the scale, and you don’t have decide whether you’re having a good or bad day based on such an arbitrary measurement. Unless there is a medical reason (a real one, not just being in a larger body) for you to know what you weigh on a regular basis, get rid of your scale completely, and just adjust clothing sizes based on fit as needed. Free yourself from the scale’s tyranny and start living your life without worrying about what the scale has to say about it!

7. Institute a zero tolerance policy about negative self talk

Whether that’s from yourself, your spouse, or your friends and family. When you catch yourself speaking negatively about your own body, try to replace negative self talk with neutral phrases about your body. When others around you are speaking negatively about their bodies (since this is apparently how some of us bond), don’t engage, change the subject, or set a boundary that you’d prefer not to hear negative self talk or diet talk from your friends and family when you’re together. Sometimes folks may have a difficult time with these boundaries, so be prepared to be kind but firm. This is one of the hardest habits to break, and one of the hardest boundaries to set with body image, because of how pervasive complaining about our bodies is, but with practice, it does get easier and becomes more of a reflex, which supports an overall better body image.

I hope these tips help you, and if you have any others you’d like to share, leave them in the comments below!

—Sam