Who has two thumbs and needs to work on their body image? Probably everyone you know.
I’ve struggled mightily with my body image over the years, and nearly everyone I know has also. When I say struggled, I don’t just mean that I thought some mean thoughts every now and again about myself, I mean I would have times where I’d be ugly crying (snot running down my face and everything) and hyperventilating, thinking I was the most hideous person on the face of the planet. Unsurprisingly, this wasn’t a super healthy way to think about myself, and it negatively impacted almost every area of my life, from my sense of self worth to my relationships, and on down the line.
My journey to a better relationship with my body has been a very long one, that started with reading The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, and from there moved on to attending Camp Thunder Thighs hosted by amazing fat activist, Virgie Tovar, where I met one of my photography heroes, Teri Hofford, in person. There were lots of little stepping stones along the way, but Camp Thunder Thighs and connecting with Teri really cemented where I wanted to go with my relationship to my body.
A few years later, Teri began offering a Body Image Bootcamp, and eventually the ability to become certified as a Body Image Bootcamp facilitator, and once I saved up enough, I was on a plane to Mexico to get myself certified! I had done so much body image work over the years that I thought I had nothing else to learn about my own body image (ha!), but pride cometh before a fall and whatnot, because WOW did I work through so many more things I didn’t even know were lurking under the surface when I attended the facilitators Body Image Bootcamp. I knew I wanted to help others have similar breakthroughs to really approach their bodies with a sense of love and respect, I just didn’t know exactly what my Body Image Bootcamp was going to look like yet.
When it came to planning my own version of Body Image Bootcamp, I noticed that most certified facilitators were working only with groups of women (trans-inclusive), which I can absolutely understand and respect, but when I put the call out to my largely queer client community, the overwhelming response was that folks wanted an inclusively queer space to talk about body image issues, regardless of gender (or lack thereof), and so Queer Body Image Bootcamp was born!
The inaugural Queer Body Image Bootcamp was a labor of love, born from a deep desire to help people in my community repair their relationships with their bodies. As a wedding & portrait photographer (Dutcher Photography) and boudoir & empowerment photographer (Reverence Intimate Portraits), I see firsthand every day the shame that many of us have built up around our bodies, especially those of us who live in marginalized or multiply marginalized bodies. On top of that, the queer community has its own unique body image issues, particularly for trans and/or non-binary folks, which is why I was really happy to see so much support for an all gender (or lack thereof) queer only space.
The next biggest hurdle was finding the right location. Because of my commitment to accessibility, I knew that the venue I chose had to not only have the right “vibe” (cozy, safe, comfortable, eclectic), but would also need to be ADA-accessible, have furniture that would fit a variety of body sizes and shapes, and be a place where queer people would feel welcome (as they should be in every space). I searched for what felt like months and kept coming up empty, until Parlor Hotel, a queer-owned boutique hotel in Princeton, WI, came up in conversation with my friend Patrick, who helped connect me with owners Greg & Matt. The second I looked at the space, and saw that it had not one but two ADA-compliant rooms, offered catering options, allowed us exclusive use of the hotel for our group, and it was cute as heck, I knew that this was the perfect space to host Queer Body Image Bootcamp!
As we approached the retreat weekend, I was busy prepping goodie bags, coordinating with my co-facilitator, Nik Shier of Heartbrain, on fun ways to surprise and delight attendees, and making sure everyone was prepared, and during that time, almost every attendee expressed how nervous they were, how this was something big they were doing for themselves (what an act of self-love!), and how much they were looking forward to the retreat weekend!
Guests began arriving at 2 PM on Thursday March 20th, and I could immediately see excitement was winning out over nerves as they looked around the space! That first day was just getting folks settled in, having dinner, and hopefully getting to know each other before diving into body image work on Friday morning. I’d asked Nik to facilitate some ice breakers Thursday evening after dinner to help get folks comfortable talking with each other, but to my great joy, attendees were naturally and effortlessly getting to know each other and talking like old friends within a few hours, no ice breakers needed!
Friday morning, folks slept in a little, helped themselves to breakfast, and then we got down to business. Day one of “class time” consisted of diving into how body image is formed in early childhood through caretaker narratives, the media we were exposed to, and our culture. Some of these exercises were particularly emotionally challenging. There’s a reason I included tissues in everyone’s goodie bags, and we certainly had cause to use them! The care and compassion shown by each attendee in listening to and holding space for those around them was deeply heartwarming, and had a positive impact on how comfortable each person felt in sharing their stories and insights. We broke for a delicious catered dinner at the Horseradish Kitchen (also owned by Greg & Matt) where we laughed, got to eat amazing food, and just let ourselves relax after a hard day’s work. After dinner, I made everyone delicious mocktails, as folks talked and shared more casually (we may or may not have had a little Chappell Roan sing-a-long).
On Saturday, we focused on how to identify negative body image thoughts, and practical tools for reframing or redirecting those thoughts in a healthy direction, whether towards body neutrality or body positivity. The most powerful part of this discussion for me was when each attendee took a moment to say something to the child version of themselves. Just hearing each person speak so lovingly towards their “little them” in that moment was so incredible. Many of us think that we hate ourselves because we’re so used to negative self talk, we assume everything we think about ourselves is true, so to see each attendee fiercely loving and protecting their child-self in that moment with words of encouragement, affection, and love, was truly a gift, and highlights the importance of this work. We had another amazing dinner and got to toast the 10 year anniversary of Horseradish Kitchen with Greg, Matt, and several team members there, and it was so sweet and serendipitous. Queer success is beautiful!
Sunday was our graduation and mini-session day! Each attendee received a mini boudoir + empowerment session with me, and once our mini-sessions were completed, we had a beautiful graduation ceremony where attendees connected with each other one on one to place physical representations of healing on each others’ bodies. The smiles, the tears, and the hugs were overwhelmingly tender and beautiful. Each attendee shared that they gained something deeply meaningful out of the experience, in expected and unexpected ways. The experience was truly magical, and I am so honored to have been able to help facilitate this kind of healing.
If you missed this year’s Queer Body Image Bootcamp, and would like to be the first to know when we open registration for the 2026 bootcamp, head to https://www.reverenceintimateportraits.com/newsletter-signup to sign up for my email newsletter! It is possible to have a better relationship with your body, and I want to leave you with what I know to be true, deep in my heart; You are valuable and worthy, in exactly the body you’re in right now.
—Sam
p.s. Check out the pictures from our amazing weekend below, and please give some love to the queer-owned vendors who helped us make this retreat so special!
Here are the amazing queer-owned vendors (with links!) who helped make Queer Body Image Bootcamp happen!
Co-facilitator: Heartbrain (IG: @heartbrainwi / @queerjoybyheartbrain)
Venue: Parlor Hotel (IG: @parlorhotel)
Catering: Horseradish Kitchen (IG: @horseradishkitchen)
Delicious Treats: The Baked Lab (IG: @thebakedlab)
