Who has two thumbs and needs to work on their body image? Probably everyone you know.

I’ve struggled mightily with my body image over the years, and nearly everyone I know has also. When I say struggled, I don’t just mean that I thought some mean thoughts every now and again about myself, I mean I would have times where I’d be ugly crying (snot running down my face and everything) and hyperventilating, thinking I was the most hideous person on the face of the planet. Unsurprisingly, this wasn’t a super healthy way to think about myself, and it negatively impacted almost every area of my life, from my sense of self worth to my relationships, and on down the line.

My journey to a better relationship with my body has been a very long one, that started with reading The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, and from there moved on to attending Camp Thunder Thighs hosted by amazing fat activist, Virgie Tovar, where I met one of my photography heroes, Teri Hofford, in person. There were lots of little stepping stones along the way, but Camp Thunder Thighs and connecting with Teri really cemented where I wanted to go with my relationship to my body.

A few years later, Teri began offering a Body Image Bootcamp, and eventually the ability to become certified as a Body Image Bootcamp facilitator, and once I saved up enough, I was on a plane to Mexico to get myself certified! I had done so much body image work over the years that I thought I had nothing else to learn about my own body image (ha!), but pride cometh before a fall and whatnot, because WOW did I work through so many more things I didn’t even know were lurking under the surface when I attended the facilitators Body Image Bootcamp. I knew I wanted to help others have similar breakthroughs to really approach their bodies with a sense of love and respect, I just didn’t know exactly what my Body Image Bootcamp was going to look like yet.

When it came to planning my own version of Body Image Bootcamp, I noticed that most certified facilitators were working only with groups of women (trans-inclusive), which I can absolutely understand and respect, but when I put the call out to my largely queer client community, the overwhelming response was that folks wanted an inclusively queer space to talk about body image issues, regardless of gender (or lack thereof), and so Queer Body Image Bootcamp was born!

The inaugural Queer Body Image Bootcamp was a labor of love, born from a deep desire to help people in my community repair their relationships with their bodies. As a wedding & portrait photographer (Dutcher Photography) and boudoir & empowerment photographer (Reverence Intimate Portraits), I see firsthand every day the shame that many of us have built up around our bodies, especially those of us who live in marginalized or multiply marginalized bodies. On top of that, the queer community has its own unique body image issues, particularly for trans and/or non-binary folks, which is why I was really happy to see so much support for an all gender (or lack thereof) queer only space.

The next biggest hurdle was finding the right location. Because of my commitment to accessibility, I knew that the venue I chose had to not only have the right “vibe” (cozy, safe, comfortable, eclectic), but would also need to be ADA-accessible, have furniture that would fit a variety of body sizes and shapes, and be a place where queer people would feel welcome (as they should be in every space). I searched for what felt like months and kept coming up empty, until Parlor Hotel, a queer-owned boutique hotel in Princeton, WI, came up in conversation with my friend Patrick, who helped connect me with owners Greg & Matt. The second I looked at the space, and saw that it had not one but two ADA-compliant rooms, offered catering options, allowed us exclusive use of the hotel for our group, and it was cute as heck, I knew that this was the perfect space to host Queer Body Image Bootcamp!

As we approached the retreat weekend, I was busy prepping goodie bags, coordinating with my co-facilitator, Nik Shier of Heartbrain, on fun ways to surprise and delight attendees, and making sure everyone was prepared, and during that time, almost every attendee expressed how nervous they were, how this was something big they were doing for themselves (what an act of self-love!), and how much they were looking forward to the retreat weekend!

Guests began arriving at 2 PM on Thursday March 20th, and I could immediately see excitement was winning out over nerves as they looked around the space! That first day was just getting folks settled in, having dinner, and hopefully getting to know each other before diving into body image work on Friday morning. I’d asked Nik to facilitate some ice breakers Thursday evening after dinner to help get folks comfortable talking with each other, but to my great joy, attendees were naturally and effortlessly getting to know each other and talking like old friends within a few hours, no ice breakers needed!

Friday morning, folks slept in a little, helped themselves to breakfast, and then we got down to business. Day one of “class time” consisted of diving into how body image is formed in early childhood through caretaker narratives, the media we were exposed to, and our culture. Some of these exercises were particularly emotionally challenging. There’s a reason I included tissues in everyone’s goodie bags, and we certainly had cause to use them! The care and compassion shown by each attendee in listening to and holding space for those around them was deeply heartwarming, and had a positive impact on how comfortable each person felt in sharing their stories and insights. We broke for a delicious catered dinner at the Horseradish Kitchen (also owned by Greg & Matt) where we laughed, got to eat amazing food, and just let ourselves relax after a hard day’s work. After dinner, I made everyone delicious mocktails, as folks talked and shared more casually (we may or may not have had a little Chappell Roan sing-a-long).

On Saturday, we focused on how to identify negative body image thoughts, and practical tools for reframing or redirecting those thoughts in a healthy direction, whether towards body neutrality or body positivity. The most powerful part of this discussion for me was when each attendee took a moment to say something to the child version of themselves. Just hearing each person speak so lovingly towards their “little them” in that moment was so incredible. Many of us think that we hate ourselves because we’re so used to negative self talk, we assume everything we think about ourselves is true, so to see each attendee fiercely loving and protecting their child-self in that moment with words of encouragement, affection, and love, was truly a gift, and highlights the importance of this work. We had another amazing dinner and got to toast the 10 year anniversary of Horseradish Kitchen with Greg, Matt, and several team members there, and it was so sweet and serendipitous. Queer success is beautiful!

Sunday was our graduation and mini-session day! Each attendee received a mini boudoir + empowerment session with me, and once our mini-sessions were completed, we had a beautiful graduation ceremony where attendees connected with each other one on one to place physical representations of healing on each others’ bodies. The smiles, the tears, and the hugs were overwhelmingly tender and beautiful. Each attendee shared that they gained something deeply meaningful out of the experience, in expected and unexpected ways. The experience was truly magical, and I am so honored to have been able to help facilitate this kind of healing.

If you missed this year’s Queer Body Image Bootcamp, and would like to be the first to know when we open registration for the 2026 bootcamp, head to https://www.reverenceintimateportraits.com/newsletter-signup to sign up for my email newsletter! It is possible to have a better relationship with your body, and I want to leave you with what I know to be true, deep in my heart; You are valuable and worthy, in exactly the body you’re in right now.

—Sam

p.s. Check out the pictures from our amazing weekend below, and please give some love to the queer-owned vendors who helped us make this retreat so special!

Here are the amazing queer-owned vendors (with links!) who helped make Queer Body Image Bootcamp happen!

Co-facilitator: Heartbrain (IG: @heartbrainwi / @queerjoybyheartbrain)

Venue: Parlor Hotel (IG: @parlorhotel)

Catering: Horseradish Kitchen (IG: @horseradishkitchen)

Delicious Treats: The Baked Lab (IG: @thebakedlab)

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“Bodies be bodies…”

…As the incomparable Teri Hofford would say. Teri’s Body Image Bootcamp was a gift I didn’t know I needed. She originally began hosting the Body Image Bootcamp (BIBC) in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in 2018 and I’ve been wanting to go for years, but always had an excuse to put it off. I finally got my shit together this year, and was particularly excited to learn how to facilitate a BIBC here in Wisconsin, but if I thought I wouldn’t learn (and feel!) new things about body image because I’ve been on this journey for a while, boy howdy was I wrong. Like very wrong.

I have a tendency to remove the emotion from my memories and feelings. Just ask any therapist I’ve ever been to. I can recount some pretty horrific stuff like I’m ready a grocery list, ten steps removed from it. This is obviously a coping mechanism, and my brain’s way of protecting me, but it can sometimes be a barrier to breakthroughs and knowing this about myself, I was a little worried I wouldn’t connect, not only with other BIBC attendees, but also with myself. I also had all the normal (normal???) worries about not fitting in, being the odd woman out, not making friends, and not belonging that I tend to have going into every social situation, and add to that my concerns about being in a country where I don’t speak the language. All these thoughts had me pretty nervous about what to expect and what the experience would be like for me.

Turns out, I was worried for nothing. I arrived a day early and stayed at Hacienda Buenaventura and immediately was able to connect with one of my fellow BIBC attendees, a French Canadian woman who was staying at the same hotel pre-bootcamp. We had such a lovely dinner getting to know each other that it immediately put my mind at ease about the workshop, and eased my fears around not fitting in. We took an Uber together to the BIBC villa, then rode the sky bucket (what we lovingly call the outdoor funicular elevator thingy that ferried us up and down the steepest part of the hill and hauled us right to the BIBC doorstep). We were greeted with hugs and limeade (two of my favorites things) and my new companion and I were the first to arrive and the first to choose our rooms! Day one was largely settling in, greeting new arrivals (more hugs, more limeade) and swimming naked in the infinity pool with an AMAZING view of Puerto Vallarta and the ocean (I never want to swim with a bathing suit on again). That first evening, we were served a delicious meal, then headed to the rooftop fire pit area to talk through Clifton Strengths (which if you haven’t heard of it, I highly recommend checking it out here!) We laughed and chatted and got to know one another a bit, then all headed off to bed (avoiding stepping on any of the many gecko friends all over the open-air parts of the villa at night).

The next morning was the official “Day 1” of the bootcamp, and that’s when I knew this wasn’t going to be just surface level stuff. While I won’t recount everything we learned or did, one of the most powerful moments for me happened on Day 1, when we were asked to take 10 minutes and write down a list of every mean or negative thing we say to ourselves (or have said to ourselves). I was super honest with this exercise, and didn’t realize that part 2 was to hand our list over to a partner. The person we were paired up with then read our list out loud, as though they were saying these things to themselves. I would never, never say things as mean as what I’ve said to myself to another creature, and just hearing those words come out of someone else’s mouth made me weep. I was crying like a baby before we were even halfway through the list. This one small moment was so monumentally eye-opening, and says so much about how we’re willing to treat ourselves, versus how we treat others.

Days 2 and 3 were a happy blur of meaningful discussions, tears, hugs, good food, and photos. At the end of Day 3, the last day of the bootcamp, we discussed ways to continue body image work as we head back into the world, and had a glitter graduation ceremony where we helped each of our fellow attendees heal parts of themselves where they struggle with body image most, and thanked each other for witnessing us, and basked in the gentle healing that comes along with being truly seen. And bonus, I got cute cat stickers on my bum!

The day after our glitter graduation ceremony was a free day of sorts, where we had massages, bummed around Puerto Vallarta in small groups, and got matching tattoos! I know that sounds crazy (which is how I prefaced my text to my husband about it lol), but the discussion came up about matching tattoos, and my wonderful roommate Nathou, whose native language is French, said the phrase “je t’adore”, which means “I love you” and as we reflected over learning to love ourselves and our bodies, it just felt right as a matching tattoo idea, and so that was what we decided on! This means we also all have a little piece of Nathou (both the phrase, and for some of us, even her handwriting) with us as we go back into our lives, and a meaningful reminder to treat ourselves with love and kindness. There’s a pic below of this beautiful tattoo, which means so much to me I can’t even put it into words!

Some of my biggest takeaways from this workshop were:

You probably have more work to do on your body image than you think, even if you’ve been working on it for years
You can’t love your body if you don’t love who you are, so it’s not just about your body image, but also your self-image
The vast majority of us are searching for a sense of belonging and comparison, self-doubt, and fear robs us of the chance to make meaningful connections and impactful relationships in our lives if we let it
Being naked is a fucking gift - it’s so much easier to attain body neutrality when you acclimate yourself to your naked body, just doing its body thing
This one is aimed at moms, non-binary parents, and caretakers in particular - if it is accessible for you, try to take a solo trip just for you every now and again so you can experience being able to prioritize only yourself, even if it’s just for a day or two at a time
The world needs your softness and your vulnerability

I am so grateful to Teri for creating this experience (and to Beth, the coordination guru with whom I share a love of spreadsheets)! I know folks are going to really benefit from doing this work, and I can’t wait to bring my own spin on this bootcamp to Wisconsin! Leave a comment or shoot me an email if you have any questions! I could talk about body image, and also this bootcamp, literally all day long!

—Sam

p.s. Special thanks to Cat of Alter Ego Boudoir for taking the dress photos of me on my camera so I could edit them! You’re a doll!